There are so many decisions to be made when planning a wedding.  One thing you must figure out early in the wedding planning process is how many guests you are going to have.  This is essential for venue searching and budget planning since catering and cake will require a close idea of guest count.  You will need to decide if you are going to have kids at your wedding.  If you choose not to, don’t feel guilty!  There are many reasons why a couple chooses to not invite kids to their wedding.  No matter the reason you choose to have a no kid wedding it is essential to let your guests know of your decision. 

There are several ways to do that and I suggest doing all of them, so no one can say they hadn’t heard!

1. Your save the dates- if you have decided to have a no kid wedding at this point you could mention it on your save the dates.  Something simple like “invitation to adult only event to follow” is subtle but gets the point across.  It also lets your guests with kids know to plan on a sitter.
2. Your wedding website- this will be a constant resource for your guests, so this is a great place to put this information.  To help with those that get upset by your decision it is also nice to explain why you chose a no kid wedding.  Whether it is due to capacity at the venues, budget constraints, or you don’t want them there you can write a tasteful explanation to help your guests to understand your side of it.
3. Your wedding party and family- tell your wedding party and your family why you chose to have a no kid wedding and let them answer for you.  Odds are people may be uncomfortable talking to you or your fiancé about it but may ask others closely involved in the wedding.
4. Your invitations- you will want to include this information in your invitations but don’t put the information on the invitation itself.  It is best to put this information on a details card that can be added to your invitation suite.  Whatever tasteful explanation you put on your wedding website should be what you send in the invitations.
5. RSVPs- you can subtly remind guests by including a line about how many guests are invited.  This also works well for no +1s.  “___ seats reserved in your honor” is a good example of how to print on your RSVPs.  Before you put the RSVP in the invitation envelope you fill in the number for those guests.
6. Addressing- when addressing your envelopes make sure only the invited guests are listed on the envelope.  You don’t want to say “The Smith Family” when only the parents are invited.  You would want to address the envelope to “Mr. & Mrs. John Smith.”  This is another subtle way to let your guests know but this alone will not convey the message.
   

Now for the brutal truth- not everyone will be happy with your decision.  News Flash:  They don’t have to be.  The only ones who must be happy are you and your fiancé.  But you do need to be prepared to respond to those that aren’t happy.  It is also important to have a united front- both of you as well as your wedding party and families should all be giving the same response. 

Also, be understanding to those that cannot attend the wedding if their children cannot attend.  This happened to me so I completely understand it.  My husband’s cousin and his wife decided on a no kid wedding and our oldest son was only a few months old.  The wedding was a four-hour drive away and we were not comfortable leaving our son overnight at that age.  The option of getting a babysitter closer to the wedding was not possible because all the family we knew in the area were going to be attending the wedding.  So unfortunately we had to make the decision to not attend.  We explained to my husband’s cousin the predicament we were in.  We understood their side and they understood ours.  We did not ask for an exception and they did not offer one.  We respected each other and each other’s viewpoints.  So I highly recommend having an open mind if someone says they cannot attend and respect their decision.

Most importantly- enjoy your wedding!  It will go so fast so make sure you enjoy every minute.
Keywords: wedding, no kid wedding, kid free wedding, wedding invitations, wedding planning, wedding budget

The royal wedding of Prince Harry & Meghan Markle was full of wedding traditions both old and new.  One element of their wedding steeped in royal tradition was their wedding invitations.  Royal wedding invitations have been the same basic design, with some very minor changes, since Queen Victoria's son was married in the mid 19th century.  While picking out your invitation involves picking colors, fonts, and design elements royal couples have it quite easy.  The decision is made for them.

The invitation is printed on a white card stock with black writing.  The only element of color is the royal crest printed at the top which is gold foil.  The foil was not added to royal invitations (wedding or otherwise) until the 1950's.  Who's crest is to be printed on the invitation depends on who is hosting the wedding.  They are always printed landscape.

The first line of the invitation is where the host is revealed.  If the Queen is hosting the invitation will state "The Lord Chamberlain is commanded by the Queen to invite" while if another member of the royal family is hosting the line reads more traditionally as "requests the pleasure of the company."  The hosting royal family member's name will be their full royal title while if the Queen is hosting it will read only "The Queen" or "Her Majesty." 

The next two lines will be blank lines that the names of the invited guests will be written in before the invitations are mailed.  The names will be written formally and will include all titles the guests may have.  Traditionally there are no "plus 1s."  Royal protocol follows the "no ring, no bring" mantra.  That means that if you are not engaged or married it is expected that you will attend alone.

The names of the couple getting married will be listed based on aristocratic ranking.  This means that the name of the royal getting married will be listed first and then the name of their fiance, regardless of gender.  In non-royal tradition the bride's name is written first.  So in this case the names were listed "His Royal Highness Prince Henry of Wales with Ms. Meghan Markle" indicating Prince Harry's formal name including the location since his father is the Prince of Wales.

As not customary by wedding etiquette but customary in royal etiquette the RSVP information is listed on the wedding invitation itself.  This is more to do with the royal wedding following RSVP tradition customary for all royal events.  Guests also don't RSVP to the couple but instead to the royal household secretary.

It is amazing to me that royal invitations have had the same design for well over a century.  It shows that every detail in wedding planning is important and steeped in tradition.

Congrats to the new Duke and Duchess of Sussex!!!

keywords: wedding. royal wedding, wedding invitations, wedding traditions

In January 2017 I was asked to be involved in the 98.7 The Bull Piece of Cake  Wedding contest.  The contest was put on by 98.7 The Bull (a local radio station here in Portland) and the Oregon Wedding Showcase (a local wedding show producer).  I sponsored the wedding stationery for the contest.  

The contest involved listeners voting for which couple they wanted to win the wedding.  The top 3 couples competed to find a ring in a piece of cake at the Oregon Wedding Showcase in Salem.  Damon was very fast and made a wonderful mess to find the ring.  Congrats!  Chelsea and Damon won!!!

The wedding was to take place at the Skype Live Studio.  Chelsea and Damon picked March 18, 2017 for their wedding.  We did not have much time to get the invitations done!  But I was up for the challenge.  I spoke to Chelsea and her mom about what she wanted in her invitation design.  Chelsea and Damon had decided on a camo theme for their wedding and wanted something with tree leaves and orange.  I had never done a camo theme invitation before but I loved the idea.

Chelsea and Damon were limited on the number of guests in the Skype Live Studio so they decided to have a reception for those unable to attend the ceremony.  They were going to need 2 invitation suites.  While they were 2 different invitations we decided to use the same basic design for both so they coordinated since some guests were going to be getting invitations to both events.  But they also needed to be different enough that people who received both realized they were different.  I decided to do one vertical and one horizontal so it was easy to see they were different.  This also made it easier for Chelsea and Damon when they were putting the invitations together.

Along with 2 invitation designs Chelsea and Damon were going to need 2 different RSVPs- 1 for those invited to the ceremony and the reception and 1 for those invited to the reception only.  Chelsea and Damon decided to go very simple for the RSVPs to allow the invitations to stand out.  There was also an information card with the website for people to be able to watch the ceremony live streaming along with registry information which was also a simple design similar to the RSVPs.

Chelsea and Damon chose to take advantage of guest addressing as well.  Since their wedding was happening so close to the time they won the contest (about 7 weeks) they opted for the time saver of guest addressing so that they could get their invitations out ASAP.

I was surprised when I was asked to be involved with the contest but I was very excited to be involved.  Chelsea and Damon were such a nice couple and I was honored to do their invitations.

Your complete wedding invitation timeline.  

There are so many pieces to planning a wedding.  One part of your wedding that has many pieces is your wedding stationery.  Here is a guide to what should be done and when.

9-12 months before the wedding:  The most important (and most difficult) of the wedding stationery timeline involves your guests- collecting addresses.  Make your guest list as soon as you get engaged and start getting the addresses.  This will be tedious and it is best to start as soon as possible.

If you are having a destination wedding, a lot of your guests will be travelling to come to your wedding, your wedding is in June or on a holiday weekend now is the time to send your save the dates.  Make sure your venue is booked and then send save the dates to all invited guests.

6-9 months before the wedding:  If you haven't already, now is the time to send save the dates.  If you are unsure if someone will make the final invite list, take them off your save the date list.  Only those guests that are for certain going ot be invited to the wedding should get a save the date.

4-6 months before the wedding:  Start looking for ideas for invitations that match your theme and colors.  Your invitations are the first impression your guests get of your wedding.  You want them to match your theme to avoid confusion.  For a custom design you will want to allow 4-8 weeks for design and production for your invitation suite.  If you are picking a premade template (from me or from another online site) you will want to allow 2-4 weeks to get your invitations.

3 months before the wedding:  If you didn't choose to add on guest addressing when ordering your wedding invitations you will want to get them over to a calligrapher to start addressing them or you will want to sit down and get started.  Word of advise:  don't try and do them all in one night.  Your hand will cramp.  Make a plan to do it over a few nights.  Your hand will thank me!  Once they are all addressed take one (completed- all pieces in the envelope and the envelope is sealed) to the post office and have it weighed to find out the postage.  The last thing you want is to have them all returned due to a postage problem.  then buy the correct postage and get to stamping!

2 months before the wedding:  Mail your invitations.  If you didn't do save the dates you can send them a little earlier.  Once those are in the mail, take a deep breath (maybe with a glass of wine) and start thinking about your wedding day stationery.  Menus? Programs? Signs? Place cards? Escort cards? (yes, they are different) Table numbers?  Now is the time to get started on those.

1 month before the wedding:  Compile your RSVPs.  They should be due 1 month before the wedding.  Take note of those that have not responded and contact them to see if they are coming.  If you are doing a seating chart now is the time to get started on that.  Best to have the seating chart done 2 weeks before the wedding (save yourself some stress the closer it gets to the wedding).  Allow at least 2 weeks for your wedding day stationery to be completed.

Wedding day!!!!  Enjoy the day.  Take it all in.  Make sure you eat!

1-2 months after the wedding:  Thank you notes should go out in this time frame.  If you want to include a photo from the day be sure you get that back as soon as possible from you photographer (many will get you one picture ASAP for this purpose).  Thank you notes should definitely go out by your 2 month anniversary.

Whew!  That was a lot of info!  If I didn't answer all your questions feel free to comment below and I am happy to answer them.

Congrats! You are engaged! Let the wedding planning begin!

First you will want to figure out an approximate number of guests and a budget for your venue.  The next step is to find the perfect venue to accommodate your wedding.  Once your venue it booked your wedding date is locked in.  It's official!  You have a wedding date!!!

Save the dates are a great way to get your wedding date on your guests calendars.  But there are many questions about save the dates.  Here are some answers to the most common save the date questions:

1) When should I send my save the dates?
Generally save the dates are mailed to your wedding guests 6-9 months before the wedding.  This give your wedding guests ample time to make arrangements and plan on being there.

There are a few instances where you would want to send them 9-12 months before the wedding:
1) If you are having a destination wedding
2) If your wedding is in June
3) If your wedding is on a holiday weekend
4) If you have a lot of guests traveling to come to your wedding

2) Who should (and shouldn't) get save the dates?
Everyone who will be invited to the wedding should get a save the date.  You want to get onto the calendars of all your guests.  If you are unsure if someone will be invited them they should not get a save the date.  Only those that are definitely invited should get a save the date.

3) What information should go on a save the date?
There are 4 things that you will want to put on your save the date:
1) Your names
2) Wedding date
3) Location (City, State is fine- details will go on the invitations)
4) Your wedding website (I highly recommend you have one for details for your wedding)
Also a statement that you are getting married (i.e. "save the date" or "we are getting married") and "Invitation to follow" is also important.  

4) What should our save the date look like?
The short answer... whatever you want them to!  There are so many options, limitless really.  You can use a picture.  You can use multiple pictures.  You could use no pictures.  It could be very formal or very casual.  Odds are you will have a wedding theme and colors in mind by this point but it is still very early on in the planning process that the details are still being worked out.  Your save the date does not need to match your theme or the eventual invitation.  Save the dates also can take many forms.  The most common being a postcard, a card in an envelope or a magnet.  All are options and you just have to decide what you both like best.

5) Do I have to include a picture on my save the dates?
No.  Many people choose to have a picture on their save the dates but they are not required.  Many wedding guests will know you or your fiance but not necessarily both of you.  So it can be fun to use a picture.  About 75% of my clients use a picture on their save the dates.  It is all about personal preference.

These are the most common questions I get about save the dates.  Do you have any questions that I didn't answer?  Comment below and I would be happy to answer them!

keywords: wedding, save the dates, save the date cards, wedding date