6 Ways to tell your guests' you are having a "kid free" wedding

There are so many decisions to be made when planning a wedding.  One thing you must figure out early in the wedding planning process is how many guests you are going to have.  This is essential for venue searching and budget planning since catering and cake will require a close idea of guest count.  You will need to decide if you are going to have kids at your wedding.  If you choose not to, don’t feel guilty!  There are many reasons why a couple chooses to not invite kids to their wedding.  No matter the reason you choose to have a no kid wedding it is essential to let your guests know of your decision. 

There are several ways to do that and I suggest doing all of them, so no one can say they hadn’t heard!

1. Your save the dates- if you have decided to have a no kid wedding at this point you could mention it on your save the dates.  Something simple like “invitation to adult only event to follow” is subtle but gets the point across.  It also lets your guests with kids know to plan on a sitter.
2. Your wedding website- this will be a constant resource for your guests, so this is a great place to put this information.  To help with those that get upset by your decision it is also nice to explain why you chose a no kid wedding.  Whether it is due to capacity at the venues, budget constraints, or you don’t want them there you can write a tasteful explanation to help your guests to understand your side of it.
3. Your wedding party and family- tell your wedding party and your family why you chose to have a no kid wedding and let them answer for you.  Odds are people may be uncomfortable talking to you or your fiancé about it but may ask others closely involved in the wedding.
4. Your invitations- you will want to include this information in your invitations but don’t put the information on the invitation itself.  It is best to put this information on a details card that can be added to your invitation suite.  Whatever tasteful explanation you put on your wedding website should be what you send in the invitations.
5. RSVPs- you can subtly remind guests by including a line about how many guests are invited.  This also works well for no +1s.  “___ seats reserved in your honor” is a good example of how to print on your RSVPs.  Before you put the RSVP in the invitation envelope you fill in the number for those guests.
6. Addressing- when addressing your envelopes make sure only the invited guests are listed on the envelope.  You don’t want to say “The Smith Family” when only the parents are invited.  You would want to address the envelope to “Mr. & Mrs. John Smith.”  This is another subtle way to let your guests know but this alone will not convey the message.
   

Now for the brutal truth- not everyone will be happy with your decision.  News Flash:  They don’t have to be.  The only ones who must be happy are you and your fiancé.  But you do need to be prepared to respond to those that aren’t happy.  It is also important to have a united front- both of you as well as your wedding party and families should all be giving the same response. 

Also, be understanding to those that cannot attend the wedding if their children cannot attend.  This happened to me so I completely understand it.  My husband’s cousin and his wife decided on a no kid wedding and our oldest son was only a few months old.  The wedding was a four-hour drive away and we were not comfortable leaving our son overnight at that age.  The option of getting a babysitter closer to the wedding was not possible because all the family we knew in the area were going to be attending the wedding.  So unfortunately we had to make the decision to not attend.  We explained to my husband’s cousin the predicament we were in.  We understood their side and they understood ours.  We did not ask for an exception and they did not offer one.  We respected each other and each other’s viewpoints.  So I highly recommend having an open mind if someone says they cannot attend and respect their decision.

Most importantly- enjoy your wedding!  It will go so fast so make sure you enjoy every minute.
Keywords: wedding, no kid wedding, kid free wedding, wedding invitations, wedding planning, wedding budget