How to handle "plus 1s"

How to handle no plus 1s is similar to how you handle having a no kid wedding.  There are many reasons why a couple decides to not include plus 1s (or kids).  Every guest you invite is going to have a cost associated with them.  Maybe for you it is that you only want those that you know attending your wedding.  Maybe you are wanting to cut costs.  Maybe your current guest list is close to the venue maximum. Whatever your reason for limiting plus 1s there are 2 questions that arise.

1. Who gets a +1? There is a phrase in the wedding industry that can help you, “no ring, no bring.”  Traditionally that meant if a couple was not engaged or married to the person you are inviting, they didn’t get invited.  This has evolved to mean if they have been together a while then they should be invited.  So if it is a new relationship it is ok not to invite the new significant other.  “A while” can be open to interpretation so a nice gauge of time is if they were together when you got engaged then they should be invited.
2. How do I let people know they don’t get a +1? There are a few steps you can take to make it clear.  Unfortunately, many people don’t get it if you imply subtly so you must be clear.  The first step is to address the envelope to the invited wedding guest only.  If you add “and guest” on the envelope they will assume they get a guest.  The second step is you can add a line on your RSVP stating “____ seats reserved in your honor” or something similar and then put a “1” on the line before you mail the invitation.  A statement on your wedding website for why people aren’t getting +1s is a good idea well.  Something like “due to limitations at our venue we must limit our guests to only those invited.”  This can mitigate people getting upset knowing there is a specific reason why you are limiting the guest number.
   

Whatever your reason for not allowing +1s (or no kids) be confident in it.  Not everyone will be supportive but if you feel strongly about it, stick to it.  Most importantly, be consistent.  Be all or nothing. Exceptions can be made for the wedding party but there shouldn’t be exceptions for anyone else. Don’t bend the rules for anyone or before you know it the rules won’t exist anymore. 

Keywords: wedding, wedding guests, wedding budget, wedding tradition, who gets invited